01 October 2011

Weighing the options

Since my boss told me to come up with a list to weigh up the pros and cons of being with or without Mr Limbo, I've come up with the following lists:-


Being without Mr Limbo
Pros
Cons
·        Not feeling so ugly and fat, which means no insecurity of battling with food and exercise in the hopes of making him more attracted to me
·        Being without my companion
·        No worries about hurting another woman who doesn’t deserve to get hurt
·        Possibly never meeting another guy who will love me as much
·        Not having to share the guy I love
·        Having to lose someone I love
·        Having more free time to pursue hobbies and interests and better time management
·        Giving up hot passionate sex
·        Not having to lie to my family and other people anymore
·        Never knowing if we would have been good together
·        No worries about religion or having to deal with religious practices
·         
·        He won’t have to go through the trouble of deciding whether he wants to be with his family or not, and I won't have to find out if he loved me that much
·         
·        No being embarrassed about our relationship
·         
·        No incidentals of being with a married man (i.e. limited time, no contact on weekends and late nights)
·         
·        No more guilty or worries
·         
·        No disappointing my family
·         
·        Not having to be so understanding all the time and being selfish
·         
·        No more getting crap thrown at my back at work
·         
·        No more losing friends and getting judged for loving the wrong guy
·         
·        Being available and having more time to meet new people
·         
·        No more sneaking around
·         
·        Being in control and being independent as a single woman and knowing I stood up to him and stuck with my ultimatum
·         
·        I won’t get hurt by him anymore 
·         
·        I can find another guy who can share everything with me i.e. go drinking with me anytime, take photos together and me not going crazy over his eating restrictions
·         
·        Being able to focus on myself and do a better job at work
·         



Being with Mr Limbo i.e. promising to marry him
Pros
Cons
·        Having him all to myself and no more sneaking around
·        I would never know how much of his own accord, that he wanted to leave his family
·        Starting a new life
·        I would not know how much he loves me or if he will really divorce his wife just cos I say yes and commit myself
·        Being able to know him as a single person and he can be himself
·        I would be jumping into a serious mess when I’m already hurt enough by him
·        Being able to have a more sincere, wholehearted relationship
·        Feeling guilty about his family
·        Being able to have sex without guilt
·        He will be suffering
·        Finally having a chance to resolve the issues I have with him
·        Having to fight my tyrant of a father and my control freak of a mother to be with Mr Limbo, most likely I will be disowned and feel alienated all over again
·        Being able to spend a night with him (or a weekend or forever)
·        Not even knowing how it would work out because we only had an affair which is just full of temptation and excitement
·        Being able to talk to him all the time with no guilt (or less guilt)
·        if I just say yes and make it easy for him, I might get all the blame and end up being a doormat whenever we have couple fights
·        No being embarrassed about our relationship
·        I would feel so much pressure to get married to him when I’m not even ready to marry anyone
·        Less guilt about the whole situation, even though it will still be there
·        Because of this big marriage and religion issue, our other issues never quite got resolved.
·        He’s very sweet and loving and fun
·        Not knowing if I will get cheated on with a younger sexier female again
·        The truth will set everyone free, including his family
·        Not knowing how much he will appreciate what I’ve done if he thinks he’s making a much bigger sacrifice.
·         
·        Not knowing how to function in society in Singapore and back at home anymore
·         
·        Not having a wedding that I’ve always wished for
·         
·        Not being able to drink or enjoy food with him and feeling super restricted
·         
·        I will be constantly worried about our kids and whether they are obliged to practice his religion
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·        If I’m so constantly worried and hurt by him, I will most likely feel suicidal.. or die an early death from all that negativity
·         
·        Having to leave a company that wants to nurture me
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·        Not knowing how good he is as a husband or how fast his feelings will fade if he can do that to his current wife
·         
·        Having to find out what his bad points are (I think he’s actually v hot tempered)
·         
·        I can NEVER have a dog and I’ve always dreamed of having one since I started travelling so much when I was a kid
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·        Possibly screwing up his daughter’s childhood and relationship with him
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·        The religion part is the biggest hurdle cos I swore a long time ago not to get involved in it because of the long term consequences.. I mean.. don't mess with people's faith man.

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