The weekend was pretty eventful, went clubbing, fine dining with my family and did some furniture shopping.
I've been seeing Mr New pretty often, but been so insecure lately and throwing tantrums.
I don't know why, I guess part of it is my weight, how I keep pigging out and not exercising and getting depressed all over again.
Feeling ugly is such a miserable feeling. I'm down with a cold now but... I hope I can start working on myself again soon.
It's also my struggles with being with Mr New..
I just kept questioning the relationship we were having. What the point was of being together if I'm just a girl on the side. It's so unbelievably difficult to share a guy and knowing that I'm in no position to ask for more.
Today I threw a tantrum through text but we met up and decided to go to a nearby supermarket to get discounted sushi and we feasted beside the pool. It was really fun and romantic. I was getting scared cos I knew I was falling for this man. yet I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing. Its such a mess. I love being with him. I wanna be with him, I miss him all the time, yet I wanna break up so we can move forward and stop our nonsense. We had a long emotional talk today and he told me he thought I was his No. 1 even though I kept complaining about being his No. (don't know how many). To me, when I heard that, I was touched and felt like I couldn't ask for more.
I know, he is a patient and loving guy. He still deals with me very sensitively despite all my ugliness being on full frontal and making things so difficult. Oh gosh, I'm in love.
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