What do you do when you love someone who's hurting you.. and you give him an ultimatum, that if he really wants you, then he needs to do ABCD. And then he tells you, that he loves you a lot but can only do EFGH?
Is this the love that I want to continue? Is it even love at all then? It can't be love if I've been hurting for months and he doesn't realise it or do something about it by now. I've been feeling alienated at work even till now. I don't know what kind of laughing stock I am.. Sometimes I do catch subtle remarks and I know they are laughing at me behind my back. I'm stressed about everything else in my life. While he has done a lot for me.. all I know is I'm not getting what I want in order to feel happy, hopeful and secure. I have given this a lot of thought and I really will not be happy if it's anything less than ABCD.
I can feel that my feelings are slowly fading away. I'm no longer interested in burying my pain and pleasing him just because I understood that he was in a difficult situation. Does he really care about me? Does he know how much it hurts? Does he appreciate how much I put up with, to be with him just that little while longer? Giving my body to him doesn't seem like much of a big deal anymore cos I don't see him trying to understand me. I guess... why would you want to buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?
I can't last any longer. I feel heartbroken even though he says he loves me. Is this yet another chapter in my life that I have to close and soon? Is it time to look around for someone more suitable for me? Or is there really no one in this life for me?
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