Had a fight with my sis and dad tonight after picking them up from airport. I'm so sick of my dad's menacing manner and threats... I want to get away from this family..
Everything I do is wrong and everything they say to me feels like daggers..They keep asking me to do favours like finding out stuff or doing stuff like I'm some sort of expert or sage on everything but they can do it themselves if they make the effort too.. I'm the only one with a job to do on a daily basis. I don't have time to entertain everyone's request. They were so shocked by my upset reaction when I kept saying I don't know how to do what they're asking of me. To me it feels legitimate cos I do feel like they are trying to accuse me of being uncooperative and I get all defensive everytime they talk to me. To them I'm like some crazy woman.. Do I have a mental problem?
My dad blew his top when he saw how the apartment was. I tidied things up but unfortunately forgot about vacuuming and mopping.. And there was still some laundry left. He told me to make the house sparkling clean the next time he flies to Singapore otherwise I can just get out of the house.
I really tried to like my dad.. I tried to open up.. but it's such an impossible task. Is this a dysfunctional family?
My dad kept telling me that he hates how I am now.. Even my response also he wants to control... I'm spoilt and irritating and if I don't shape up or obey him, I should get out of the family.
Maybe I am spoilt and irritating.. Maybe I'm a loser.. I'm sorry I'm so imperfect!
I have enough stress.. The whole night I kept thinking of suicide.. Maybe I really should get out.. Time to find a room that rents out for $500 a month..
I am soo... depressed.. I can't stop crying..
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