of all the places to die..

I'm in my friend F's place now. We just stopped by my place to get some stuff before this. This is how it all went down as best as I can remember.

P (my housemate): Hey you know this bird went onto the balcony and died in the afternoon. Clean it up now cos it's gonna be hot tomorrow and the insects will come.
Me: Of all the places to die! There's 12 floors here, 15 units per floor. Why this balcony??? Is the bird telling me to go and die? (yes, I was depressed at the time)
F: [To P] Why didn't you clean it up? It's been a day.
P: No way I'm touching it man, it's not my house. C offered to do it but he took one look at it and said, it's not that big, I'll leave it to you (pussy). [To F] Why don't you do it since you stay over so much? (Tell me does this make any sense?!)

Anyway, F is like this animal lover right.

F bursts into tears.

F: I don't mind touching it but I want to bury it.

P starts making fun of the bird and of F.

P: Omg just throw it down the chute! It's just a bird that dropped dead. [laughs] Can't believe the bird is so stupid, there isn't any food here.

F: Can you please give it some respect! (still crying)

Like omg what am I supposed to do right.

Me:  P, if you're not gonna touch it and she wants to do it, let her do it her way. [To F] Where do you wanna bury it?? The soil at parks is too hard you know. I have no shovels!!!

F grabs some newspaper and wraps the bird while crying.

F: [gives P a side-eye] Sorry for being such an animal freak.

After stressing over the dozen new birdshits on my balcony floor, I then proceeded to get two rice cooker spoons and we went outside to bury it in some mulch.

The next morning, P's boyfriend messages F this.

"Seagull murderer"

F gets into a fit.