I'm definitely keeping it all inside. This pain is bursting at the seams of my chest. I can't bear to go back to be with my family again after six years of tasting freedom. I'm so fearful of losing what is important to me, of becoming more restricted. I'm so very afraid of diving deeper into my depression. It hurts the most when the people who should love you the most don't want to understand you and trivialise your problems. I can't take it anymore. My suicidal thoughts keep building up and it's getting harder and harder to resist.

When I'm happy, I don't think about much. But sometimes when my world gets darker and darker, the memories I cling to are those that I shared with my old love. I feel pathetic. He left me for someone else and yet I felt like he was the only one who cared about me in the way I wanted. Is this what they call rock bottom?